A lotta people think the best way to enjoy a sport is to go to the game. Whatever. It’s totally to do it yourself. Personally, there’s no way I could enjoy a sport without having at least tried it, if only so I can imagine what it feels like to be in the athlete’s shoes. Listen, I’m sure that is indicative of my weak imagination and maybe a lack of empathy, but don’t tell me I’m the only one. Furthermore, I totally recommend trying the other methods of spectating before going to a game. Watching broadcasts, commentators added tons of flavor and understanding. Following the scores, I got a real feel and visual map for the rules and structure of a competition.
That said, let’s go to the show, gang. Vanessa Lee recommends going to qualifiers at Caledon – the most relaxed spectating you can do. We like relaxed. Then there's the Ontario Spring Classic is coming up on June 14-15. You can just go. It’s free. At some tournaments you have to bring a lawn chair. This one has bleachers. But I also wanna tell you that you can do one better. Volunteer for it! For one thing, they need lots of people. For another, when you volunteer, you always get some kind of inside view. Just ask another volunteer what they’re excited about. They’ll tell you, believe me. Volunteer registration also happens to be open for the Pan-Am Games. My friend who works there said the best volunteer job is accompanying people for drug testing but she might have been taking the piss. (Rimshot!) Anyway, it's another big live gig you want to go to. I do.
So I got to thinking, I realized I didn’t know how to be a fan in the stands. I asked the marvellous Hamilton Nguyen, "Do I paint my face a la football? Paint a banner like for baseball? Can I yell stuff? Do we have to golf clap?" He told me he actually has seen belly-painted cheers. Giant clacky-hands are big and yes, it gets loud - not rude, but loud. A competitive archer just has to be able to tune it out. And Vanessa told me that World Cup events are in busy public locations and people just walk over and watch– at the beach in Turkey, they got spectators in speedos.
Which brings me to my challenge for you, Toronto: What have we got that’s better than speedos? South Africa has its vuvuzelas. Atlanta has the chop. Montreal claims they started the wave. There's a year till Pan-Am. I think we can come up with something. However I consider speedos acceptable, till then.